Bible Study Materials

Questionnaire

FORGIVE YOUR BROTHER OR SISTER FROM YOUR HEART

Matthew 18:15-35

Key Verse: 18:35

“‘This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.’”

1. Read verses 15-17. What steps should one take to resolve a sin problem between fellow believers? What must be avoided when doing this? What should be our aim and goal? What do you think it means to treat a person as a pagan or a tax collector? What should be the ultimate purpose for the discipline? (Refer to 1 Corinthians 5:4,5)

2. Read verses 17-20. What authority did Jesus give the church? (17-18; 16:19) Why is agreeing, praying, and gathering in Jesus’ name important? (19-20) What blessings does Jesus promise to those who do so?

3. Read verses 21-22. What question did Peter ask and why? What answer did Jesus give? Why is this challenging to Peter and to us?

4. Read verses 23-27. What is Jesus’ parable about? Who does the king represent? What was the situation of one servant? What did the king first decide to do? When the servant pled for mercy, what did the king do? How does this illustrate the grace of God to sinners?

5. Read verses 28-34. Later, what outrageous thing did this servant do and why? (28-30) When the master (king) heard about this, what did he do? (31-34)

6. Read verse 35. What is the point that Jesus makes? How is this connected to Jesus’ teachings in verses 15-34? What did it cost God to forgive us? How can we practice forgiveness and mercy?

Attachment:

• Matthew 18(15-35).que.docx

Message

FORGIVE YOUR BROTHER OR SISTER FROM YOUR HEART

(Matthew 18:15-35)

 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (v. 35) 

            In the previous passage, we learned about who can enter the kingdom of God and who is the greatest in God’s kingdom. We also learned how God cherishes one soul, seemingly insignificant and wandering. In today’s passage, Jesus teaches about forgiveness. The word “forgiveness” implies that it involves sin problems. Dealing with and forgiving another brother or sister’s sin are not easy at all. Jesus teaches what steps we should take to resolve a sin problem and how we can do so. May God bless us to accept Jesus’ teaching about forgiveness and put it into practice! 

            I. Dealing with sin problems (vs. 15-20) 

            Holiness is one of the characteristics of God’s people along with humility and compassion for the lost. Each member of the church needs to continually grow in God’s holiness. In reality, however, we may encounter unexpected troubles in the church or among believers beyond our own church due to our spiritual immaturity and impurity. Jesus gives us clear direction on how to deal with such problems.  

            Look at verse 15. “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” When someone sins against us, it can hurt us deeply, evoking anger or depression. What should we do? We must go and show him or her their fault, just between the two of us. We should not carry out a smear campaign against them, or brood over it silently. Instead we must confront them personally and show them their fault by giving him a factual account and a sound biblical explanation. This should not be done in anger. As Ephesians 4:15 says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love…” We must remember that the purpose is to restore and heal the brother or sister who is going astray and win them back to God. In doing so, we can please God and glorify him.  

            Sometimes, the offender will not react well to a personal visit. We should not give up easily. It may need more conversations through other visits. If that fails, then what? Look at verse 16. “But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'” These “others” should be mature men or women of God who can provide objective wisdom on the matter. Still, they may not be successful. Then what? Look at verse 17. “If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” The church must make a great effort to win over the offender, remembering the heart of Christ. However, if he or she still remains unrepentant, they must treat him or her as a pagan or a tax collector. This does not mean to hate them, but to rebuke them publicly and cast them out of the church, pending his repentance through God’s divine discipline.  

            Why should we proceed with such a painful discipline in the church? The purpose is to restore the person and to protect the purity of the church by keeping the sin from spreading to others. Biblically the church is described as “the people of God,” “the body of Christ,” “Christ’s bride,” and “the dwelling place of the living God.” The church is not a building but a group of believers at any level. God chose each individual believer to form the church, which is Jesus’ body. God dwells in the church by his Spirit. God expects his people to be pure and sanctified as he is holy. (Ephesians 5:25-27) Therefore, the church needs to pursue spiritual purity through individual repentance and church discipline.  

            For this, Jesus gives his church authority. Look at verse 18. “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” The decisions of the church are binding both on earth and in heaven. It means that God exercises his authority in and through the church. Therefore, one who has been properly disciplined by a Spirit-filled church should not think that he was treated unfairly. God carries out his discipline through the church, so he or she should humbly accept this discipline and repent.  

            But the church authority should not be carried out blindly. Discipline should be practiced with love to gain the souls of brothers or sisters. While carrying out the church’s authority, we should try to find out the will of God in deep prayer and through the word of God. At the same time, while seeking church discipline for the good of the person and the church, as individuals we must always forgive him or her in our hearts.  

            Look at verses 19-20. “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” This is the greatest promise of God for his church on earth. When just two or three gather in Jesus’ name, Jesus is present and the church is formed. From God’s eyes, each God-honoring and loving home is a house church. When brothers and sisters are united in love and truth, God pours out his Spirit on such a church to do a wonderful life-giving work in answer to their prayers. When Jesus is present, a few people can be used to carry out God’s will and change the world. Early Christians worshiped Jesus in their homes. Christian faith began to spread through house churches: Lydia’s house church in Philippi, Priscilla and Aquila’s house church in Corinth and Ephesus, and so on. We are currently small in number, gathering at Dr. Andrew and Heather's house, but Jesus is with us. When we love Jesus, grow in holiness and love and pray together, God will accomplish his will through us. May God fulfill his will among us, on NCSU and even on the world through our church! 

            II. Forgive your brother or sister seventy-seven times (vs. 21-35) 

            As Peter listened to Jesus’ teaching, he grasped the point. Jesus wanted to love his brothers and sisters and pray together in one accord. However, praying together with them in harmony required that he forgive their sins—not once, but multiple times. That seemed to be really hard. Anyway, Peter wanted to please Jesus, so he said, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” (21) Most likely, Peter thought that he was being so generous because many Jewish rabbis taught to forgive three times, but not the fourth time. Seven times! Wow! Was Jesus impressed? Look at verse 22. “Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” Here “seventy-seven” does mean 70x7, that is 490. This means a limitless and unconditional practice of forgiveness. How and why can we forgive our brothers unconditionally and limitlessly?  

            First, it is because we have been forgiven unconditionally by God. Jesus explains through a most interesting parable. Look at verses 23-27. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.” Here, one bag of gold is equivalent to around 15-20 years of a laborer’s wages. Therefore, ten thousand bags of gold are a sum which a man can accumulate over 150,000 years. In 2002, the median income in the U.S.A was around $44,000. So, by modern standards, the ten thousand bags of gold was more than 6 billion dollars. In a word, it was impossible for the servant to pay the debt by his own effort. He was solely dependent on the king’s mercy. When the servant begged for his mercy, the king took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go. The king did not require his servant to pay back a single penny. This was at great personal cost to the king. But he wiped the record clean, erased the books and canceled the debt unconditionally.  

            In this parable, we can learn that God is the king and master, and there is God’s judgment for every man. Each individual is the debtor who owes ten thousand bags of gold. Our debt of sin is so heavy that it is impossible to pay with our own effort. We were doomed to be confined in hell eternally. The only way for us to be free from the penalty of sin is to receive forgiveness from God, and God bestowed on us the complete remission of sin freely by his grace. To offer this grace required God himself to pay the greatest price of sacrificing his only Son, Jesus. His life is so precious and valuable, beyond measure. But God endured the pain of seeing his Son humiliated, insulted, punished, and killed in order to save us. In obedience to the Father’s will, Jesus died on a Cross. On the Cross, he prayed for us, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) It was sufficient to atone for all the sins of all who believe in Jesus. Jesus paid it all. In this way, God brought us back to life and honored us as his children, not remembering our wretchedness at all. This is God’s unconditional forgiving love for us. Since we have been forgiven unconditionally by God’s grace and mercy, we must also forgive others endlessly.    

            Second, it is because we have to keep God’ forgiveness. After receiving the king’s unlimited grace, what did the man in the parable do? Look at verses 28-30. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.” This man who was forgiven his massive debt starts home—rejoicing every step of the way. That is, until he encounters a man who owes him a debt of 100 silver coins. Here, a hundred silver coins were only about 100 days of a laborer’s wages. Compared to the amount the king had cancelled for him, this fellow servant’s debt was like a drop of water in a pond. The man whose multi-billion-dollar debt was cancelled should have canceled this debt, remembering and practicing the same mercy that he had received. Instead, he treated his fellow servant very harshly. He grabbed him and began to choke him, “Pay back what you owe me!”  

            What happened to the man? His merciless action caused great distress among the other servants. Then the king summoned him and said, “You wicked servant…I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” (32,33) In his anger, the king handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. (34). When the servant didn’t forgive his fellow servant, the master treated him without mercy.  

            The servant whose mountainous debt was canceled could have enjoyed his freedom, grace, and forgiveness if he just had forgiven his fellow servant. But due to his unforgiving spirit, he lost all this wonderful freedom by being confined and tortured until he could pay back all he owed. We may think how stupid it was! But we need to recognize that this is actually the picture of what we often mistakenly do. Though we received mercy without measure from Jesus, how often we cannot forgive the small mistake of our brothers or sisters! What happened to that man will happen to each one of us unless we forgive. 

            If we refuse to forgive others, then we are only imprisoning ourselves and causing our own torment. We are tortured by anger and bitterness that eat our insides out. The tortures of complaint and malice give us ulcers, high blood pressure, high blood sugar and headaches. An unforgiving heart keeps us awake at night with insomnia. The tortures of an unforgiving heart deprive us of every bit of joy in our lives and make us depressed. It breaks our relationships with God and others. It hinders us from growing spiritually and bearing the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Rather, It makes us bear the fruit of thorns in our lives. An unforgiving heart is a self-inflicted prison and self-induced torture. Therefore, if we want to enjoy God’s freedom and grow in his love we must forgive others. The more we forgive, the greater assurance we have that God has forgiven us, and the more we can taste the joy of our own forgiveness.  

            Third, it is because forgiveness is God’s absolute command. Jesus concluded his teaching in verse 35. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Jesus teaches that forgiving others is God’s absolute command for his children. It’s a repeated theme throughout the Scriptures. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiving others is not a choice, but an absolute duty if we are truly God’s children. As soon as God calls us and forgives us, he expects us to forgive others. C.S. Lewis once said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” What makes a true Christian is remembering the grace of God and forgiving others. Therefore, we have to understand how inseparable the two are: God’s forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others.  

            In that sense, from God’s point of view, refusing to forgive others is a very serious problem. If we don’t forgive, it means that we actually don’t know God’s forgiveness. Not to forgive is a sure sign that one has himself not been forgiven. It proves that God’s forgiveness has never really reached him, and he has not truly appreciated God’s love. He who, on the other hand, has really accepted forgiveness will forgive others, as a mark that his faith in God’s forgiveness of himself is a reality. That’s why God will treat each of us as a sinner who still has to pay ten thousand bags of gold unless we forgive our brother or sister from our hearts.  

            Forgiving is no small matter because of our sinful nature. It is hard for us to forgive. But through Jesus Christ, God gives us a way out! God forgives us and helps us forgive others. Whenever we feel like it is too difficult to forgive, we have to remember what great sinners we are and how amazing God’s grace is! We have to humbly pray to God asking for his help while praying for the person or people that need our forgiveness. And practically we have to forgive from our hearts in obedience to God’s command and Jesus’ by denying ourselves to follow in Jesus’s footsteps. If the world sees men and women of holiness and if the world sees men and women of loving and forgiving in our church, it will be compelled to confess that God is with us. God will be honored and glorified. May God bless us to accept his unconditional forgiveness for each of us! May God help us to forgive others unconditionally and unlimitedly in his love and grace! May God be glorified!

Attachment:

• Matthew 18(15-35).mg.Stephen.2023.docx